Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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