grandma shit on top of the toilet
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
