when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
