I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
worst night to have a conscience
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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