I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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