Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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