she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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