you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
