It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
