We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
