Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
