You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
