Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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