Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
