i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
