i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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