My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
