it wasn't lemon gatorade
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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