did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
