just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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