How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
