i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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