Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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