When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
