Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
