I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
