Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My vagina is officially offended.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize