OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
