she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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