I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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