It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
