there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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