Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize