it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
