We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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