You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
