Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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