brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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