In the future we'll all be gay
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
