Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize