If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Randomize
