Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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