Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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