As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
