I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
