Are we in a gay sports bar?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
smell my finger.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
