there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
