I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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