Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
