Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
