Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
