Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
