phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This baby is an asshole
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
