He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
