Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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