I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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