That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
