you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
