I just cut my nipple shaving
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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