she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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