Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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