long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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