I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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