I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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