Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
