No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
