Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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