you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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