oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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