Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
