"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize