my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
