I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
