We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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