My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
