Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
