I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
