We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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