just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
