apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
