youre lurking in front of me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
