Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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