He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
