I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
