Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
