He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
