Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize